K K K
hajat habis tahun 1 haritu nak active balik berbloggin. tapi tapi. satu post pun tak dok. hampehh. konon je semangat banyak topic dah ada dalam kepala nak blog. sampai ke rumah, haihh berhabuk laptopnya. Last-last tinggal berapa hari je nak masuk UKM. Isnin ni masuk balik la kita. back to reality. back to medic student life. byebye housewife life. ehhh
Sooo cuti ni aku banyak luangkan masa sorang2. duduk rumah sorang2. ye lah housewife kan. haritu duduk kelantan seminggu sorang2. tunggu kul 5 ptg baru ayah balik. so i've been thinking a lot. a lot . a lot . about me. about life. about future. about the ummah. about whats happening around me. about what it means. about family. banyak la. kusut minda fikirkan sampai tumbuh jerawat tak hilang-hilang. hm tak dok kerja lain ka? i dont know.
HAHA
So ive been thinking lately. aku suka bagi hadiah present kat kawan-kawan, banyak dah aku spend sebab beli hadiah untuk dorang. kalau tak aku beli cake ke. kalau tak aku akan bagi wish panjang-panjang. atau siap buat collage gambar centu. sebab aku nak tunjuk appreciation. appreciate them for being my friend. because i feel everyone deserves to feel appreciated.
hmm. aku pun kalau ada apa-apa program kawan ajak aku join je. atau ada kawan tengah cari orang pun aku join je. sebab apa aku tau susah nak cari orang nak join program-program ni. ingat orang suka ke? niat aku nak senangkan dorang. and bagi dorang support. salah ke? sampaikan ada sekali tu, dua kawan ajak aku masuk satu program ni. so aku join aje la. but then dorang dua-dua drop out from that program. tinggal aku sorang je. dorang dah kena marah dah tu. tak kan aku nak drop out juga sebabkan kawan je. nanti lagi banyak susahkan commitee. tak ke? last-last aku join program tu takde kawan pun. tapi dapat gain experience and get to know new people la. tak rugi apa pun. setakat duit je. sebab kena bayar la kan. hmm its okay la. *pujuk hati*
ada someone cakap kat aku aku ni beriya. hmmm. bukan nak cakap tak perasan yang selama ni aku memang beriya atau "shock sendiri". tapi thats not a great way to put it. so yeah memang aku beriya. hmm.
contoh macam masa cuti. kan tak jumpa kawan-kawan. and sekarang dah masuk uni. tak jumpa sangat kawan-kawan dari sekolah menengah. so i took all the effort untuk contact dorang tanya apa khabar semua semua tu. call dorang bila aku ada free call. or text dorang bila ada free time. and arrange perjumpaan beramai-ramai. kalau tak, lepak-lepak dengan siapa-siapa yang ada je. selalunya kerja aku la tu. sampaikan aku buat bbq untuk classmates aku. and i went milestones u know. nak masak . amik dorang . takpa aku sanggup. selalunya aku mula dulu.
and kalau ada event-event alumni sekolah, atau kawan-kawan ada buat majlis ke apa. aku pergi. kalau aku dijemput aku akan pergi. i'll go throught the milestones. kalau tak, aku at least aku ada terfikir nak pergi. tapi rationally memang tak dapat la pegi kalau malam-malam kan. sebab apa. tu lah. kalau dah orang ajak and kebetulan tak ada yang menghalang, why not. aku tak nak susah kan kawan untuk cari orang lain sedangkan aku free je. sebolehnya aku nak senangkan kawan-kawan aku. aku nak support dorang.
beriya ? ya memang beriya.
bukan nak mengungkit. but just terfikir.
have anyone done anything for me?
ayat yang aku selalu ulang untuk sedapkan hati ialah
"kita lakukan kebaikan kerana Allah swt. bukan kerana manusia. Biar lah manusia tak nampak. asalkan Allah swt nampak. janji ikhlas kita tolong orang, buat baik kat orang kerana Allah swt"
nak pujuk hati. aku ulang. tak pe ain, kau buat ni bukan untuk orang. kau buat ni untuk Allah swt. dalam membuat kebaikan jangan expect pembalasan. sebab pembalasan Allah swt tu lagi hebat
beriya? tak nafikan. sebelum ni just tak penah terfikir perkataan "beriya" tu. until ada orang cakap kat aku. tak sangka plak sampai ke dia pun boleh perasan beriyanya aku. orang yang baru kenal aku. then i guess memang aku macam tu la kot.
no, i never really get a "ain apa khabar lama tak dengar cerita" message daripada kawan-kawan lama macam aku selalu buat (used to though) . never really got a surprised phone call macam aku selalu buat (used to). rarely even get birthday present.
I treasure really dearly treasure kalau ada. ada tu memang ada. takde lah takde lifenya aku sampai takde. haha. takde lah. ada je.
bukan nak kata kesian kat aku. but thats just how i am. mana lah aku tau baik-baik dengan orang tak kan sampai ke mana pun. i dont know. i guess im just someone that comes into someones life be friends, and not make a mark. and when im gone, gone lah. walau macam mana pun aku cuba, people just dont remember me as how i remember them.
i was just taught to be nice. be good to people. show appreciation to people. guess thats not the way ?
tapi tu lah ceritanya.
Monday, August 25, 2014
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Ingat, supaya kau rasa bersyukur
Apabila kau rasa gembira dan bahagia,
kau ingtlah pada suatu ketika Allah SWT
yang telah bankitkan kau bila kau rebah,
Dia lah yang tunjukkan kau jalan bila kau hilang arah,
Dialah yang bagi kau peluang bila kau rasa takde erti hidup,
Dia lah yang beri kau hidayah bila kau asyik dalam jahiliyah.
Ingatlah, supaya kau rasa bersyukur
Maka nikmat Tuhanmu yang manakah kamu dustakan?
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
The Munafiqun and Ummah of the final era.
A khutbah at UIA by Ustad Nouman when he was here. A 30 MINUTES WORTH OF WATCHING. Very MIND OPENING. [ Search The Munafiqs (hypocrites) - Nouman Ali Khan ] We can truly understand the ummah that we are SUPPOSED to be like, as what is told in the Al Quran. But sadly we are NOT. And how in surah Al Baqarah there's a long long long story about Bani Israel. but we don't bother to understand it. Have you ever wonder why the kiblat was changed from Al Aqsa which is in Jerusalem to Makkah? The Bani Israel. Its not like they don't believe in Allah. they are people with knowledge. They have a lot of knowledge. They know. But they chose not to believe. And thats the munafiqs. Allah USED to honor the bani israel. But because they chose to disbelieve, Allah disqualifies them. and make a NEW UMMAH (which is us, hence the change of kiblat). They know or they say they believe but they really don't. And sadly to see. It's kind of whats happening now. Don't you think?
Like people are Islam on their identification card, and they say they believe in Allah, they are Islam, on facebook on twitter on instagram. But do they really manifest it? Do do they act like it? Do they really act like people who are Islam? We are SUPPOSED to take the story of Bani Israel in surah Al Baqarah as a LIFE LESSON. To NOT BE LIKE THEM. But yet we are kind of heading towards the way that they were........... Prophet Muhammad SAW would be very DISAPPOINTED TO SEE THE UMMAH IT IS NOW. After so much he has done for us..
and the month of RAMADHAN. the holy month. its our independence month. This month is not only about doing Ibadah, fasting, reciting the Quran. It's also a month where are SUPPOSED to be refreshed as an UMMAH of Islam.. Change the way we think. Reflect back on ourselves. Be a good muslim. Repair our akhlak. But DO WE REALLY?
Especially after seeing that VIRAL VIDEO OF THAT CAR ACCIDENT. it really makes sense. Yeah what that girl did was wrong. Yeah it was so no right . especially in bulan Ramadhan (same goes with every other month, it'll still be wrong) but what the people commented about her??? Yeah sure she put a shame on the Islam community. But bashing her, talking smack about her, stalk her, and say bad things about her, and have intentions of doing bad things to her. REALLY DOESN'T MAKE YOU THE BETTER PERSON. We should be a united UMMAH. what she did was wrong so give advice to her nicely so she can learn from it. not making it viral so the whole Malaysia can see. Bangga ke ada orang memalukan Islam?? Ye kita malu sebab dia memalukan islam but YET WE SHARE IT SO EVERY MALAYSIAN CAN SEE? kata bulan Ramadhan kena buat baik.. banyak bersabar.. but SHARING it will make other lose their SABR. and SHARING it make other people talk smalk about her. It's not doing any good. if we SHARE it we are actually creating sins for other people. Don't you think???
Just let it be as a lesson to not be like that. and enough. I think everybody can think for themselves. We don't have to be detectives and stalk dia sampai nak buat jahat kat dia. What she did put a shame on Islam (from the comments I've read). But what WE are doing is just puting more shame.
WAKE UP people... Jom lah jadi ummah yang Rasulullah SAW nak kita jadi. Jom lah jadi ummah seperti ditulis dalam Al Quran. Jom lah jadi UMMATAN WASATAN. An ummah of balance. An ummah of moderation. An Ummah of justice. In which the Ummah have both the KNOWLEDGE and ACT upon it. not only have the knowledge.
Walahualam...
Na'uzubillahiminzalik. may Allah forbid us from being in the Munafiqs...
Like people are Islam on their identification card, and they say they believe in Allah, they are Islam, on facebook on twitter on instagram. But do they really manifest it? Do do they act like it? Do they really act like people who are Islam? We are SUPPOSED to take the story of Bani Israel in surah Al Baqarah as a LIFE LESSON. To NOT BE LIKE THEM. But yet we are kind of heading towards the way that they were........... Prophet Muhammad SAW would be very DISAPPOINTED TO SEE THE UMMAH IT IS NOW. After so much he has done for us..
and the month of RAMADHAN. the holy month. its our independence month. This month is not only about doing Ibadah, fasting, reciting the Quran. It's also a month where are SUPPOSED to be refreshed as an UMMAH of Islam.. Change the way we think. Reflect back on ourselves. Be a good muslim. Repair our akhlak. But DO WE REALLY?
Especially after seeing that VIRAL VIDEO OF THAT CAR ACCIDENT. it really makes sense. Yeah what that girl did was wrong. Yeah it was so no right . especially in bulan Ramadhan (same goes with every other month, it'll still be wrong) but what the people commented about her??? Yeah sure she put a shame on the Islam community. But bashing her, talking smack about her, stalk her, and say bad things about her, and have intentions of doing bad things to her. REALLY DOESN'T MAKE YOU THE BETTER PERSON. We should be a united UMMAH. what she did was wrong so give advice to her nicely so she can learn from it. not making it viral so the whole Malaysia can see. Bangga ke ada orang memalukan Islam?? Ye kita malu sebab dia memalukan islam but YET WE SHARE IT SO EVERY MALAYSIAN CAN SEE? kata bulan Ramadhan kena buat baik.. banyak bersabar.. but SHARING it will make other lose their SABR. and SHARING it make other people talk smalk about her. It's not doing any good. if we SHARE it we are actually creating sins for other people. Don't you think???
Just let it be as a lesson to not be like that. and enough. I think everybody can think for themselves. We don't have to be detectives and stalk dia sampai nak buat jahat kat dia. What she did put a shame on Islam (from the comments I've read). But what WE are doing is just puting more shame.
WAKE UP people... Jom lah jadi ummah yang Rasulullah SAW nak kita jadi. Jom lah jadi ummah seperti ditulis dalam Al Quran. Jom lah jadi UMMATAN WASATAN. An ummah of balance. An ummah of moderation. An Ummah of justice. In which the Ummah have both the KNOWLEDGE and ACT upon it. not only have the knowledge.
Walahualam...
Na'uzubillahiminzalik. may Allah forbid us from being in the Munafiqs...
Friday, April 18, 2014
Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today
Alhamdulillah, I'm in my mid 2nd semester break. Just a little more then I'll be done with first year. Time moves so fast huh. Tup tap tup tap. Wow dah nak habis first year dah?
I've been super duper busy I didn't even keep tract of the time. Sedar-sedar dah mid April. So busy with all these programs. Alhamdulillah Light Up Autism, my first charity run, was a success. Managing participants' registration and race kits ain't easy. especially when there's almost 2000 participants. Getting calls and messages, reply emails late at night. But it's my amanah. and Alhamdulillah we got great feedbacks from the participants. First program. Great experiences. Grew a lot.
Jalinan Siswa Maximus pun done. I had a great time and met new people. yang sebelum ni tak kenal pun senior 2nd year medic. (Medic students duduk bawah tempurung lah katakan, seniors pun kita tak kenal. eheh) Tapi, time macam ni lah kita ambil peluang untuk kenal senior-senior kita.
But actually there's a lot more programs to come. Responsibilities to handle. Tasks to carry out. InsyaAllah with my niat to help people, to become a better person and to learn, Allah will ease this journey for me and those around me.
I do complain sometimes saying there's just so many things to do, stacks and stacks of load work to finish. With all the program things and meetings, I couldn't even find time to study. But I learned that if I think negative, thinking that I can't finish it, then I really can't finish it. But when I change my mindset and think more positive, be confident that I can finish all these, then I really can even though the piles of work just keep on stacking. Just take a deep breath and say "I'm getting these things done". set a goal. to finish up today or tomorrow or by next week. be determined and take it seriously.
Being a medic student, I learned that there is no more time for playing around. I sacrificed my movies, my sitcoms, my books, my guitar, my songs, my gossips and all these entertainment. Because I know they are the reasons for procrastination. When you watch one episode, you'll want to watch another, and then another. and tup tap tup tap. it's the middle of the night and you didn't even touch your PBL or MES. See what I mean.
Memang la orang akan kata, tak kan lah nak serious study atau buat kerja je 24/7. Well in my opinion, if being like that get things done and I won't be stressing out at the last minute. Then it's fine by me. I mean kalau main-main selalu and all these work load is put on hold until the last minute. kita procrastinate. asik procrastinate. That's the reason why we get stressed out. Think about it. if we finish our work and tasks early, then it doesn't harm you to treat yourself with a little movie night. At least you'll watch it with a peaceful mind not thinking about any work you have to do. You know what people say, Work now, play later.
HAHAHA actually I haven't really been like this since being a medical student. I always procrastinate and have to finish things at the last minute. and I got soooooooo stressssed out. But yeah I learned from that. and I don't want to do that anymore. I changed my routine and it got better for me. I changed my mindset, I became more serious (eheheh ye laa), takde la, when it comes to work la. Kena pandai-pandai la fikir bila masa terbaik untuk kita relax and chill. Kerja tu kerja. main bila kerja dah siap.
This post tercetus apabila tengah ulang kaji infection and immunity untuk End Of Module test naik cuti nanti. Serious banyak gila virus, bacteria, parasites, kena hafal. Serious tak tipu. Mechanism, morphology, site of latency dah segala bagai. Penyakit apa. Antibiotics dan mechanism. menimbun. Mula-mula rasa macam OMG Biar betikkk nak kena hafal semua niiii. Aku macam tak percaya orang lain siap boleh pergi bercuti and relax lagi. bijaknya dorang ni! How can they do that can. teach meeee. tapi aku tak nak ikut orang. dorang nak bercuti bior la. Aku tau aku tak kan siap study kalau aku buat macam tu. so I dedicate my one week of mid sem break as one study week. eheheheh :3 Tak kesah. >.< serious niiiiiiiiiii
Totally lost the real objective of this post. Melencong tah kemana. siap kena tukar tajuk. Because it wasn't originally what I wanted to write about. Ehehehehh.
baca lah post ni ain in the future. semoga ia dapat beri semangat.
Tapiiii INGAT. lakukan la semua ni dengan niat Lillahitaala ^.^
Doctor-to-be , InsyaAllah
Assalamualaikum. byebye
I've been super duper busy I didn't even keep tract of the time. Sedar-sedar dah mid April. So busy with all these programs. Alhamdulillah Light Up Autism, my first charity run, was a success. Managing participants' registration and race kits ain't easy. especially when there's almost 2000 participants. Getting calls and messages, reply emails late at night. But it's my amanah. and Alhamdulillah we got great feedbacks from the participants. First program. Great experiences. Grew a lot.
Jalinan Siswa Maximus pun done. I had a great time and met new people. yang sebelum ni tak kenal pun senior 2nd year medic. (Medic students duduk bawah tempurung lah katakan, seniors pun kita tak kenal. eheh) Tapi, time macam ni lah kita ambil peluang untuk kenal senior-senior kita.
But actually there's a lot more programs to come. Responsibilities to handle. Tasks to carry out. InsyaAllah with my niat to help people, to become a better person and to learn, Allah will ease this journey for me and those around me.
I do complain sometimes saying there's just so many things to do, stacks and stacks of load work to finish. With all the program things and meetings, I couldn't even find time to study. But I learned that if I think negative, thinking that I can't finish it, then I really can't finish it. But when I change my mindset and think more positive, be confident that I can finish all these, then I really can even though the piles of work just keep on stacking. Just take a deep breath and say "I'm getting these things done". set a goal. to finish up today or tomorrow or by next week. be determined and take it seriously.
Memang la orang akan kata, tak kan lah nak serious study atau buat kerja je 24/7. Well in my opinion, if being like that get things done and I won't be stressing out at the last minute. Then it's fine by me. I mean kalau main-main selalu and all these work load is put on hold until the last minute. kita procrastinate. asik procrastinate. That's the reason why we get stressed out. Think about it. if we finish our work and tasks early, then it doesn't harm you to treat yourself with a little movie night. At least you'll watch it with a peaceful mind not thinking about any work you have to do. You know what people say, Work now, play later.
HAHAHA actually I haven't really been like this since being a medical student. I always procrastinate and have to finish things at the last minute. and I got soooooooo stressssed out. But yeah I learned from that. and I don't want to do that anymore. I changed my routine and it got better for me. I changed my mindset, I became more serious (eheheh ye laa), takde la, when it comes to work la. Kena pandai-pandai la fikir bila masa terbaik untuk kita relax and chill. Kerja tu kerja. main bila kerja dah siap.
This post tercetus apabila tengah ulang kaji infection and immunity untuk End Of Module test naik cuti nanti. Serious banyak gila virus, bacteria, parasites, kena hafal. Serious tak tipu. Mechanism, morphology, site of latency dah segala bagai. Penyakit apa. Antibiotics dan mechanism. menimbun. Mula-mula rasa macam OMG Biar betikkk nak kena hafal semua niiii. Aku macam tak percaya orang lain siap boleh pergi bercuti and relax lagi. bijaknya dorang ni! How can they do that can. teach meeee. tapi aku tak nak ikut orang. dorang nak bercuti bior la. Aku tau aku tak kan siap study kalau aku buat macam tu. so I dedicate my one week of mid sem break as one study week. eheheheh :3 Tak kesah. >.< serious niiiiiiiiiii
Totally lost the real objective of this post. Melencong tah kemana. siap kena tukar tajuk. Because it wasn't originally what I wanted to write about. Ehehehehh.
baca lah post ni ain in the future. semoga ia dapat beri semangat.
Tapiiii INGAT. lakukan la semua ni dengan niat Lillahitaala ^.^
Doctor-to-be , InsyaAllah
Assalamualaikum. byebye
Thursday, February 27, 2014
One year of a great CHANGE
Assalamualaikum girls that I love because of Allah swt..
Today is 27 Februari 2014.
I don't remember the exact date, but lebih kurang time cam ni la. last year... if you girls still remember. can u recall?
Syera, Izzah, and Hanis. If u girls remember..
Last year, waktu dekat Pusat Permata Pintar Negara, me and Hanis were doing our own things in our room. homework, assignment ke apa. tiba-tiba syera and izzah ajak datang bilik for a "so called meeting". whats that about kan?
Bila dah sampai bilik korang, korang ajak duduk. "why so serious??" Eheheh. I'm like. apa hal ni???
Ada plan.... resolution katanya.........
So izzah and syera pulled out a drawer filled with tudung bawal bidang 45. neatly folded. all of their tudung bawal. the tudung we bought together at Kolej Za'ba. The tudung we bought together at Jalan TAR, Tudung kangaroo, tudung 2 and 3 tone. all.
Then izzah closed the door and showed us tudung that are neatly hunged on a hanger at the back of the door. Different tudung. tudung I haven't seem them wear. tudung I don't even own. Tudung bidang 50 and 60.
izzah and syera asked me and hanis to join their resolution. Which is, to keep our tudung 45' folded and somewhere else. take out only tudung bidang 50 and 60 (pada masa tu, i only have 1 tudung bidang 50). shawls pun dibenarkan, tapi kena labuh! start wearing socks full time! Start wearing hand socks when necessary and appropriate. mula pakai inner neck bila pakai tudung yang jarang. So, we had to stay with our resolution for 40 DAYS! after that 40 days, its up to us whether we want to continue or not. but we have to promise ourselves that we'll stick to this plan for 40 days.
Me and Hanis, after going through usrah and all. we have actually been thinking about it you know. I started to read more Islamic motivational books suggested by my roomate Hanis herself. I started watching Islamic motivational videos by Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan who was recommended by Izzah herself.
memang nak, niat tu memang ada. but I never really had the drive to physically change u know my appearance. and show it to everyone. friends and family. hmm. ye lah takut. what people would think at say about me.
but me and hanis Agreed!
Throughout the whole year, I bought new tudung bidang 50, I bought lots of hands socks, I bought lots of socks. I bought baju muslimah. I bought jubahs. I bought slacks. I bought skirts. I totally changed my wardrobe. I changed my playlist to lots of nasyid songs. hehehehe. (waktu tu kaya sebab dapat duit semasa kerja and duit KPT. LOL.. akibatnya miskin sekarang hehe)
I'm so grateful that I have friends that I can experience and go through this journey together. you know. change. a good change. At least I won't be the odd one out. or appear shockingly different to people. Or feel weird. We went through this change together. At least we felt weird together. At least we still have each other's back. At least we still have each other for motivation. We wanted to become better people. better muslims. Together..
HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO THE NEW US.
Alhamdulillah. it has been one year. Alhamdulillah, I held on even longer than 40 days. Alhamdulillah I made that change. Alhamdulillah I met you guys. Alhamdulillah you guys asked me to tag along on your hijrahs.
Girls, thank you. Thank you so much. for teaching me. and for supporting me. and giving me motivations. Ya Allah, I don't know how to express it. Jujur, memang macam roller coaster, going through this journey. macam-macam emotions running here and there. Penah je ada masa rasa macam nak quit and go back to my old self. but you girls pushed me forward.
I don't know what I would be like now if I haven't met you girls. Thank you
I love you girls. because of Allah. Thank you Allah. for overlapping our tracks. at one point we meet. Your great plans, Allah. Alhamdulillah.
Cari lah kawan-kawan yang boleh dekatkan diri kita kepada Allah. Inilah dikatakan ukhuwahfillah abadan abada.
We may be far apart now. We may not talk as often as we used to. but just to let u girls know. I will always remember you
Things do happen for a reason. and put faith in Allah, that it's the best for you.
I love you girls
Assalamualaikum
The journey is still a long way down but insyAllah, together we'll bear.
*oh my. rojak gila bahasa. well yeah that is me. seriously i do talk like this. please don't mind the language*
Today is 27 Februari 2014.
I don't remember the exact date, but lebih kurang time cam ni la. last year... if you girls still remember. can u recall?
Syera, Izzah, and Hanis. If u girls remember..
Last year, waktu dekat Pusat Permata Pintar Negara, me and Hanis were doing our own things in our room. homework, assignment ke apa. tiba-tiba syera and izzah ajak datang bilik for a "so called meeting". whats that about kan?
Bila dah sampai bilik korang, korang ajak duduk. "why so serious??" Eheheh. I'm like. apa hal ni???
Ada plan.... resolution katanya.........
So izzah and syera pulled out a drawer filled with tudung bawal bidang 45. neatly folded. all of their tudung bawal. the tudung we bought together at Kolej Za'ba. The tudung we bought together at Jalan TAR, Tudung kangaroo, tudung 2 and 3 tone. all.
Then izzah closed the door and showed us tudung that are neatly hunged on a hanger at the back of the door. Different tudung. tudung I haven't seem them wear. tudung I don't even own. Tudung bidang 50 and 60.
izzah and syera asked me and hanis to join their resolution. Which is, to keep our tudung 45' folded and somewhere else. take out only tudung bidang 50 and 60 (pada masa tu, i only have 1 tudung bidang 50). shawls pun dibenarkan, tapi kena labuh! start wearing socks full time! Start wearing hand socks when necessary and appropriate. mula pakai inner neck bila pakai tudung yang jarang. So, we had to stay with our resolution for 40 DAYS! after that 40 days, its up to us whether we want to continue or not. but we have to promise ourselves that we'll stick to this plan for 40 days.
Me and Hanis, after going through usrah and all. we have actually been thinking about it you know. I started to read more Islamic motivational books suggested by my roomate Hanis herself. I started watching Islamic motivational videos by Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan who was recommended by Izzah herself.
memang nak, niat tu memang ada. but I never really had the drive to physically change u know my appearance. and show it to everyone. friends and family. hmm. ye lah takut. what people would think at say about me.
but me and hanis Agreed!
Throughout the whole year, I bought new tudung bidang 50, I bought lots of hands socks, I bought lots of socks. I bought baju muslimah. I bought jubahs. I bought slacks. I bought skirts. I totally changed my wardrobe. I changed my playlist to lots of nasyid songs. hehehehe. (waktu tu kaya sebab dapat duit semasa kerja and duit KPT. LOL.. akibatnya miskin sekarang hehe)
I'm so grateful that I have friends that I can experience and go through this journey together. you know. change. a good change. At least I won't be the odd one out. or appear shockingly different to people. Or feel weird. We went through this change together. At least we felt weird together. At least we still have each other's back. At least we still have each other for motivation. We wanted to become better people. better muslims. Together..
HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO THE NEW US.
Alhamdulillah. it has been one year. Alhamdulillah, I held on even longer than 40 days. Alhamdulillah I made that change. Alhamdulillah I met you guys. Alhamdulillah you guys asked me to tag along on your hijrahs.
Girls, thank you. Thank you so much. for teaching me. and for supporting me. and giving me motivations. Ya Allah, I don't know how to express it. Jujur, memang macam roller coaster, going through this journey. macam-macam emotions running here and there. Penah je ada masa rasa macam nak quit and go back to my old self. but you girls pushed me forward.
I don't know what I would be like now if I haven't met you girls. Thank you
I love you girls. because of Allah. Thank you Allah. for overlapping our tracks. at one point we meet. Your great plans, Allah. Alhamdulillah.
Cari lah kawan-kawan yang boleh dekatkan diri kita kepada Allah. Inilah dikatakan ukhuwahfillah abadan abada.
We may be far apart now. We may not talk as often as we used to. but just to let u girls know. I will always remember you
Things do happen for a reason. and put faith in Allah, that it's the best for you.
I love you girls
Assalamualaikum
The journey is still a long way down but insyAllah, together we'll bear.
*oh my. rojak gila bahasa. well yeah that is me. seriously i do talk like this. please don't mind the language*
Monday, February 3, 2014
If you want something. you work hard for it
Bersyukurlah dengan apa yang ada. Just be grateful.
Ayah aku penah cakap. "apa yang ayah boleh bagi ayah bagi. ayah bagi yang apa ayah mampu. ayah minta maaf lah ayah tak dapat bagi korang setiap satu bilik. ayah minta maaf la ayah tak dapat bagi rumah besar skit. ayah minta maaf lah ayah tak dapat bagi handphone canggih. tapi ni yang ayah mampu. insyaAllah kalau ada rezeki pada masa depan. nanti ayah buatkan rumah besar skit."
Sebak.
Sebab aku selalu sangat merungut pasal aku tak ada bilik sendiri. aku tak ada tempat letak barang keperluan peribadi. Barang aku mesti atas tangga, dalam bakul, atas lantai, dalam kotak. Aku penah ada bilik sendiri. tapi sejak kakak balik, dia dah jadi bilik tu macam bilik dia. walaupun dia ada rumah sewa, tapi barang-barang dia masih banyak kat sini. well dia kakak. and bilik tu memang kecik pun untuk dua orang. so aku back off. lagi pun barang aku tak banyak. and aku duduk kat asrama sejak form 4. dan jarang lah ada kat rumah. tapi waktu ada kat rumah tu lah, waktu cuti lah kan, waktu tu lah aku stress depressed broken down. sebab aku tak tau nak letak barang kat mana. aku tak tau nak tido kat mana. aku tak tau nak lepak kat mana dan aku meruuuuungutttt je sebab aku takde bilik.
Aku pun tak sedar, yang ayah aku ada tambah satu bilik untuk aku. bilik yang used to be a store dah jadi a good condition bilik la. tapi aku merungut jugak. sebab bilik tu masih dijadikan store, dan tempat letak baju yang dah jemur tunggu lipat je. bilik simpan barang macam2. bilik simpan barang dapur pun ada. tapi ada je katil untuk aku tidur. ada je closet untuk letak baju. tapi aku merungut jugak.
Aku tak sedar, yang ayah nak bagi aku. ayah aku bagi apa yang dia mampu. tapi ini semua tak cukup untuk aku? Astaghfirullahalazim. Tak bersyukurnya aku. Ayah aku dah bagi yang terbaik dan mencukupi tapi aku masih minta lebih? Ayah aku dah bagi aku rumah untuk aku berlindung, ayah aku dah bagi baju untuk aku pakai. ayah aku dah bagi makanan untuk aku hidup. Dan aku masih merungut?
Astaghfirullahalazim
And I call myself muslim. and I expect to enter Jannah ? But being grateful is the last thing I am?
Sebak. Menangis. Baru aku sedar bila ayah aku cakap macam tu.
Bersyukurlah.
Ibu bapa sayang kan kita. Mereka akan bagi yang terbaik untuk kita. Mereka akan bagi apa yang mereka mampu. Just be grateful for what they can give us. Don't ask for more.
Kadang-kadang tu. aku sedih jugak tengok kawankawan guna handphone canggih kan. katanya hadiah dari parents. Pakai baju cecantik. kasut memahal. bag lelawa. aku apa yang ada? handphone android paling murah dan paling kecik. tu pun guna duit gaji sendiri. kasut nike tersayang the one and only branded shoes. tu pun guna duit gaji. Dapat straight A's PMR, dapat stratight A's SPM tapi tak dapat hadiah yang gempak pun macam orang lain. But I am grateful yang ayah aku tak bagi lebih daripada yang dia mampu. sebab dia telah mengajar aku untuk be independent. Not always depending on things. Not be depending on people. and not be materialistic. There's so many things that I've learned through out the process. I'm only 20 but I've helped my mom clean a hotel as a maid, helped my parents pick up cans and tins to recycle, babysit my little brother and sister, worked as a customer service in MPH, become a substitue 3rd grade English teacher, become a tutor in Kumon tuition center, helped out at a baby daycare. Basically I grew up in an environment where if you want something. You go work hard for it. and so yeah I did.
macam mana kita nak senang kalau kita tak tau apa itu susah?
Bersyukurlah dengan apa yang kita ada. apa yang telah diberi oleh ibubapa. dengan paras rupa yang telah dicipta oleh Allah swt. Bersyukurlah.
No more merungut from me.
All I want from my parents is their du'a. To pray for me to become a successful person. in dunya and akhirah. To pray for me that I don't go astray. To pray for my path to become a doctor is at ease. To pray for me to have a good husband. To pray for me to have a good life and good health.
Ayah penah cakap "Ayah dulu susah. Ayah tau kehidupan susah macam mana. Ayah tak nak lah bagi anak-anak ayah kehidupan macam tu jugak"
Thank you ayah for caring for us. and loving us dearly. All dad will always want to see their children be successful.
Ya Allah, Forgive me and my parents. and love them as they loved me
Ayah aku penah cakap. "apa yang ayah boleh bagi ayah bagi. ayah bagi yang apa ayah mampu. ayah minta maaf lah ayah tak dapat bagi korang setiap satu bilik. ayah minta maaf la ayah tak dapat bagi rumah besar skit. ayah minta maaf lah ayah tak dapat bagi handphone canggih. tapi ni yang ayah mampu. insyaAllah kalau ada rezeki pada masa depan. nanti ayah buatkan rumah besar skit."
Sebak.
Sebab aku selalu sangat merungut pasal aku tak ada bilik sendiri. aku tak ada tempat letak barang keperluan peribadi. Barang aku mesti atas tangga, dalam bakul, atas lantai, dalam kotak. Aku penah ada bilik sendiri. tapi sejak kakak balik, dia dah jadi bilik tu macam bilik dia. walaupun dia ada rumah sewa, tapi barang-barang dia masih banyak kat sini. well dia kakak. and bilik tu memang kecik pun untuk dua orang. so aku back off. lagi pun barang aku tak banyak. and aku duduk kat asrama sejak form 4. dan jarang lah ada kat rumah. tapi waktu ada kat rumah tu lah, waktu cuti lah kan, waktu tu lah aku stress depressed broken down. sebab aku tak tau nak letak barang kat mana. aku tak tau nak tido kat mana. aku tak tau nak lepak kat mana dan aku meruuuuungutttt je sebab aku takde bilik.
Aku pun tak sedar, yang ayah aku ada tambah satu bilik untuk aku. bilik yang used to be a store dah jadi a good condition bilik la. tapi aku merungut jugak. sebab bilik tu masih dijadikan store, dan tempat letak baju yang dah jemur tunggu lipat je. bilik simpan barang macam2. bilik simpan barang dapur pun ada. tapi ada je katil untuk aku tidur. ada je closet untuk letak baju. tapi aku merungut jugak.
Aku tak sedar, yang ayah nak bagi aku. ayah aku bagi apa yang dia mampu. tapi ini semua tak cukup untuk aku? Astaghfirullahalazim. Tak bersyukurnya aku. Ayah aku dah bagi yang terbaik dan mencukupi tapi aku masih minta lebih? Ayah aku dah bagi aku rumah untuk aku berlindung, ayah aku dah bagi baju untuk aku pakai. ayah aku dah bagi makanan untuk aku hidup. Dan aku masih merungut?
Astaghfirullahalazim
And I call myself muslim. and I expect to enter Jannah ? But being grateful is the last thing I am?
Sebak. Menangis. Baru aku sedar bila ayah aku cakap macam tu.
Bersyukurlah.
Ibu bapa sayang kan kita. Mereka akan bagi yang terbaik untuk kita. Mereka akan bagi apa yang mereka mampu. Just be grateful for what they can give us. Don't ask for more.
Kadang-kadang tu. aku sedih jugak tengok kawankawan guna handphone canggih kan. katanya hadiah dari parents. Pakai baju cecantik. kasut memahal. bag lelawa. aku apa yang ada? handphone android paling murah dan paling kecik. tu pun guna duit gaji sendiri. kasut nike tersayang the one and only branded shoes. tu pun guna duit gaji. Dapat straight A's PMR, dapat stratight A's SPM tapi tak dapat hadiah yang gempak pun macam orang lain. But I am grateful yang ayah aku tak bagi lebih daripada yang dia mampu. sebab dia telah mengajar aku untuk be independent. Not always depending on things. Not be depending on people. and not be materialistic. There's so many things that I've learned through out the process. I'm only 20 but I've helped my mom clean a hotel as a maid, helped my parents pick up cans and tins to recycle, babysit my little brother and sister, worked as a customer service in MPH, become a substitue 3rd grade English teacher, become a tutor in Kumon tuition center, helped out at a baby daycare. Basically I grew up in an environment where if you want something. You go work hard for it. and so yeah I did.
macam mana kita nak senang kalau kita tak tau apa itu susah?
Bersyukurlah dengan apa yang kita ada. apa yang telah diberi oleh ibubapa. dengan paras rupa yang telah dicipta oleh Allah swt. Bersyukurlah.
No more merungut from me.
All I want from my parents is their du'a. To pray for me to become a successful person. in dunya and akhirah. To pray for me that I don't go astray. To pray for my path to become a doctor is at ease. To pray for me to have a good husband. To pray for me to have a good life and good health.
Ayah penah cakap "Ayah dulu susah. Ayah tau kehidupan susah macam mana. Ayah tak nak lah bagi anak-anak ayah kehidupan macam tu jugak"
Thank you ayah for caring for us. and loving us dearly. All dad will always want to see their children be successful.
Ya Allah, Forgive me and my parents. and love them as they loved me
Post Examination thoughts
Bersungguh-sungguh kan kita study untuk lulus exam? sanggup kita stay up malam-malam sampai lebam mata. bangun awal pagi untuk mengulang kaji. tak nak turun pegi cafe untuk makan. tak nak jumpa kawan-kawan. kita sanggup buat semua tu untuk mencapai keputusan yang cemerlang dalam peperiksaan.. di dunia..
tapi adakah kita bersungguh-sungguh untuk dapat keputusan cemerlang pada hari akhirat? adakah kita bersusah-payah untuk lulus ujian Allah? peperiksaan hujung sem pun baru lepas. so aku terfikir. hmm "I do too little tarbiyah, and too little dakwah, and yet I expect to enter Jannah?" Ayat cover blog Angel Pakai Gucci. ouch ouch ouch ouch.
Hinanya hambuMu ini. aku buat. kau buat. kita buat. But its never late to change. Its never too late to repent. Jangan putus asa mencari Rahmat Allah. Sebab Allah swt yang kata
"Wahai hamba-hambaKu yang telah melampaui batas terhadap diri mereka sendiri (dengan perbuatan-perbuatan maksiat), janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah, kerana sesungguhnya Allah mengampunkan segala dosa sesungguhnya Dialah jua Yang Maha Pengampun, lagi Maha Mengasihani."
(surah az-zumah : 53)
tapi adakah kita bersungguh-sungguh untuk dapat keputusan cemerlang pada hari akhirat? adakah kita bersusah-payah untuk lulus ujian Allah? peperiksaan hujung sem pun baru lepas. so aku terfikir. hmm "I do too little tarbiyah, and too little dakwah, and yet I expect to enter Jannah?" Ayat cover blog Angel Pakai Gucci. ouch ouch ouch ouch.
Hinanya hambuMu ini. aku buat. kau buat. kita buat. But its never late to change. Its never too late to repent. Jangan putus asa mencari Rahmat Allah. Sebab Allah swt yang kata
"Wahai hamba-hambaKu yang telah melampaui batas terhadap diri mereka sendiri (dengan perbuatan-perbuatan maksiat), janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah, kerana sesungguhnya Allah mengampunkan segala dosa sesungguhnya Dialah jua Yang Maha Pengampun, lagi Maha Mengasihani."
(surah az-zumah : 53)
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
The Guy in the Blue Baju Melayu
He came into my dream last night. I was happy to see him. He just stood there. He smiled. He looked around and watched everybody get ready. I suppose it was Raya?
He didn't say a word.
He wore a blue baju melayu completed with buttons and songkok. It looked like it was made out of songket. He was very fashionable and very clean and very handsome. I smiled looking at him because I haven't seen him in a long time
I took out a camera wanting to take a picture of him. to catch this moment. to see be able to always his happy face.
Amirul tried to stop me from taking any pictures. He said "you're not gonna be able to see him in the picture
Before I could do anything. I just snapped one picture.
I looked at the picture in the camera.
of course
He was missing. and when I looked up. He disappeared.
I haven't seen him in my dreams in a while now. 5 months since he breathed the Earth's air.
I really miss him. I really do.
I was so happy I got to see him last night. He looked very handsome as he usually does. Even though it was just a dream. It's better than nothing.
Wait for us in Jannah. insyaAllah. we'll meet again in the life hereafter.
Al-Fatihah buat abang long tersayang <3 ku="" merinduimu="" nbsp="" p="" sangat="">
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Sanah Helwah Ayahanda
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AYAH !
2 Januari 2014 merupakan hari lahir yang ke erm erm erm 56 buat ayahanda tercinta
Alhamdulillah. Allah masih beri peluang kepada ayah untuk terus hidup di atas muka bumiNya. Alhamdulillah. Allah masih beri peluang kepada kita semua untuk bertaubat dan kembali kepada jalan yang benar
Segala isi duka yang terjadi tahun lepas, will still be in 2013. 2013 tahun yang sukar bagi kami sekeluarga, namun ada hikmah sebaliknya. dan aku percaya pada ujian yang Allah beri.
Alhamdulillah. tak terkata.
aku hampir menitiskan air mata apabila ayah aku membacakan doa sempena hari kelahirannya. doa yang Rasulullah penah ucap. Memang tahun 2013 tahun yang sukar. tapi Allah beri pengajarang kepada kita. untuk kita ingat kepadaNya. bertaubat kepadaNya. dan taat kepadaNya. dan ya, itulah yang terjadi kepada keluargaku. tersebak aku memikirkan. Segala puji bagi Allah.
Semoga aku dan keluarga istiqamah dalam penghijrahan ini. Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat kepada keluargaku. Semoga Allah tempatkan aku dan keluarga dalam Jannah bersama orang yang beriman. Semoga aku dan keluarga dapat pijak tanah bumi anbiya.
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