ini salah itu salah. segala-galanya tak betul. i can't even make up my mind! should i or should i not?
what should i do? i'm not going to sleep until i figure out what i should do when i wake up. should i go to work? or should i just go on with my day off. but if my day off turns out to be a day sitting at home being a lazy couch potato. then rugi nya cuti. i'm afraid that'll happen. but what if i went to work ans my sister decided to hangout for her birthday. but what if she comes home very tired and decides not to go out. seee, i can't even make up my mind. i need some to help me find an answer. but anyways i'm working morning shift so we could just have a birthday dinner. anyways ayah is going with amirul to do something and mak is working. adik and aiman are going to school. and balong is working. so i don't think anybody will be home anyways. like 51% of me says i should go to work. anyways i'll be home at 6. then 49% of me says i should go on with my day off. so bite me -.- but i think i'm going to work. sorry kakngah :( we'll still have a birthday dinner with everyone here. except balong will be at work.
work work work. is that all i can talk about? well i am working like 5 days a week. 1o hours a day. what other possible things can go on. am i not correct? omg who am i talking to. haha. so work is like completely not fun anymore. it used to be. i used to be so happy when a customer comes and ask for help. now i'm like oh its just there at that shelf. in my heart im like * you can go search it yourself*. but that wouldn't be appropriate now wouldn't it. haha. i used to be so excited to work and feel responsible and hardworking and all. but now its like BLAH. seriously i can't think of a single word in the dictionary that can describe the way i feel. haha. i have not a mood at all to search for books.
a customer comes and ask for a book. then he makes a comment "it's hard isn't it find a book. don't you guys arrange the books in alphabetical order?"
yeah duhhhh. i've been saying that all this while. but typical malay. i dont know. i can't really say it in public. HAHA.
okay susah gila tau tak nak cari buku. especially when the book is not suppose to be on that shelf. or especially when all the books aren't perfectly arranged. i dont know.
i had this conversation with my colleagues. that reminds me. i miss them. all of the people that i worked with since i've started which is on new years has all gone. now are all new people. and it's not the same. i like how the people were in january. it was much funner then. haha. lunch dates and all. dulu i look forward to work so i can meet up my colleagues i dont know just because. now it's like i don't look forward in seeing anybody. idk. i miss them okay. i miss the oh my god. the i don't knows. the screw yous. and the like like. and the english and all. hahah. it's nice to speak in full english with someone okay.
sam. furqan. farhana. anis. hairi. ilias. azery. fiza. aishah.
just felt like typing their names there. no motive. goshh i miss them.
OMG I CAN T WAIT TO GO BACK TO REMBAUUUUU
i miss everything about it. even how much i swear to myself i won't be the one thats so omg i miss this that this that. haha. but i do. i can't help it. the life there is just so EASY. i just know what to do and when to do it. everything is as it's has been planned out. i never get bored of my daily routines. and it always run perfectly well. i miss playing basketball. i miss just sitting on my chair at my desk just staring out of the window to the assembly ground. i miss walking at the night times. hostel life is so much fun. and i'm so greatful to have an experience like that. not everyone has the chance, so it's a great thing to talk about when i meet new people. kan.
so i'm meeting up few ex school mates. and dearest ex classmate. i really miss just sitting in class and chit chat. i miss them. so i can't wait to go back to school and re minis everything.
growing up is tough. gradually stepping into the "real life" is a challenge. i just need to be prepared. and i need to expect the unexpected. i must let go of my school/hostel life as it's the past. it just is what it is. this week i realize that i'm growing up. i'm not longer a kid. and this is the real deal. i don't ask money from my parents anymore. i'm hanging out with older people and going back home late. my mom no longer drive me to and from anywhere. i top up with my own money. i wash my own clothes. i cook my own food. this is it man. how do i put this. I AM SCARED
okay thats it. au revoir :)
