It's the only thing that I had

A girl just wants attention. Not in a bad way I mean. Generally, people giving  you their attention just makes you feel wanted and needed. It's probably one of the best feelings. After love. 

 

*living in the shadow, of some one else's dream, trying to find a hand to hold but everything every touch felt cold to me*

here comes JUNE

NAMASTE !

Its been like seriously damn while since I've written anything! the last time i wrote is about me working at MPH. and i quit like a month ago already. weheee.  to up to date thingsss. pshhtt it's not like anybody's gonna read this. okay, for the future me ;)

GUTEN TAG JUNE !

yaa, today is the morning of 1st June 2012 :) in a blink of an eye , we're half way through the year. so fastttt like thattt.  I should be taking a shower, but instead i decide to write this blog since I read othman's blog and i feel so touched. i also want to write. anyways, im needing to write something or spill out my guts to someone or something because so many things have been going on since the last post.

On may 23, 2012 I officially became a university student in University Kebangsaan Malaysia. The course I am taking is Asasi permata pintar negara. wahhh. Initially there were 52 people who registered, but since scholarships have announced the results, only 37 people are left. including me.

I have a one great roommate who is just as silly and goofy and blurry like me. HAHA.

soooooo, as now i continue this post on 17th June 2012. yeah i dont really have time to right blogs as now i'm enrolling Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia.

I remember last year Borhan and Izzuddin compete in the Olympiad, only now how i know how they feel. it was damn hard. i just took the test this morning it was like asdfkj. 3 hours of my life i didn't know what i was writing. bahhhh. but whatever its over

Im in SET 2 of asasi pintar. which only consists of 14 students. 7 girls and 7 boys. but one has gone already, one is about to (wouldn't reject JPA's scholarship la kan) , another is considering MARA. so that leaves with pfft 11 students ?! Just as our bonds are getting closer and tighter like covalent bond, we received bad news as were informed that set 2 will broken in to two. half will enter set 1 , the others will enter set 3. this isn't confirmed just yet. so who knowwsss. we'll wait for monday to see. weeee.

So i made a few friends ( I can't say a whole lot because there isn't that many people) and just minggling here and there. getting know people. luckily i did find some cracked ones haha. but the asasi pintar students are all coooooll :D

THEY ARE SUPER SMART! I don't feel like i belong here because when the lecturer explains something everybody else seems like they understand already, and im like OMFG please repeat peat peat. the blurriesttt slowest person in class. oohh ohh me me! the laziest and sleepiest. AIN lah namanya. bhaha. seriously, the students are so smart macam othman and borhan tau. i'm like in a class full of othmans and borhans. sometimes i feel like quitting because i can't catch up. but thats not the promise i made to myself and my family.

Despite not able to understand in class, i will study hard afterwards to make myself understand. i'm gonna study hard work hard strive persevere. weeee. i wanna be great medical student. im not letting twitter and facebook interfere with my studies. i will not let the media distract me. im strong. i can do this. i can do this. this is it this is the moment. bhaha. so far this "4.0 GPA" thing is not looking good for me. because i haven't being so great in pop quizzes, post tests, and tutorials. :( but its okay. i'll start slow and steady. i may be quite slow and blur in the beginning, hopefully i can progress and achive that 4.0. oh yeahhh. i'll do it :)

unfortunately i will not be accepted to MARA. tak apa la. tak ada rezeki kan. UKM is fine with me. who knows ukm is much better for me. who knows kan. hanya Dia yang merancang. RancanganNya mesti terbaik untuk kita kan.

I'm all set, i want to be a doctor. oh yeah. Dr.Norain :) aww i'm gonna cry because i feel so grown up, I can't believe it :')

so i guess that's all i have to say.

au revoir

for now

YOURS TRULY

this is what happen when you take away internet from me for 2 weeks

semua benda tak kena!

ini salah itu salah. segala-galanya tak betul. i can't even make up my mind! should i or should i not?

what should i do? i'm not going to sleep until i figure out what i should do when i wake up. should i go to work? or should i just go on with my day off. but if my day off turns out to be a day sitting at home being a lazy couch potato. then rugi nya cuti. i'm afraid that'll happen. but what if i went to work ans my sister decided to hangout for her birthday. but what if she comes home very tired and decides not to go out. seee, i can't even make up my mind. i need some to help me find an answer. but anyways i'm working morning shift so we could just have a birthday dinner. anyways ayah is going with amirul to do something and mak is working. adik and aiman are going to school. and balong is working. so i don't think anybody will be home anyways. like 51% of me says i should go to work. anyways i'll be home at 6. then 49% of me says i should go on with my day off. so bite me -.- but i think i'm going to work. sorry kakngah :( we'll still have a birthday dinner with everyone here. except balong will be at work.

work work work. is that all i can talk about? well i am working like 5 days a week. 1o hours a day. what other possible things can go on. am i not correct? omg who am i talking to. haha. so work is like completely not fun anymore. it used to be. i used to be so happy when a customer comes and ask for help. now i'm like oh its just there at that shelf. in my heart im like * you can go search it yourself*. but that wouldn't be appropriate now wouldn't it. haha. i used to be so excited to work and feel responsible and hardworking and all. but now its like BLAH. seriously i can't think of a single word in the dictionary that can describe the way i feel. haha. i have not a mood at all to search for books.

a customer comes and ask for a book. then he makes a comment "it's hard isn't it find a book. don't you guys arrange the books in alphabetical order?"

yeah duhhhh. i've been saying that all this while. but typical malay. i dont know. i can't really say it in public. HAHA.

okay susah gila tau tak nak cari buku. especially when the book is not suppose to be on that shelf. or especially when all the books aren't perfectly arranged. i dont know.

i had this conversation with my colleagues. that reminds me. i miss them. all of the people that i worked with since i've started which is on new years has all gone. now are all new people. and it's not the same. i like how the people were in january. it was much funner then. haha. lunch dates and all. dulu i look forward to work so i can meet up my colleagues i dont know just because. now it's like i don't look forward in seeing anybody. idk. i miss them okay. i miss the oh my god. the i don't knows. the screw yous. and the like like. and the english and all. hahah. it's nice to speak in full english with someone okay.

sam. furqan. farhana. anis. hairi. ilias. azery. fiza. aishah.

just felt like typing their names there. no motive. goshh i miss them.

OMG I CAN T WAIT TO GO BACK TO REMBAUUUUU

i miss everything about it. even how much i swear to myself i won't be the one thats so omg i miss this that this that. haha. but i do. i can't help it. the life there is just so EASY. i just know what to do and when to do it. everything is as it's has been planned out. i never get bored of my daily routines. and it always run perfectly well. i miss playing basketball. i miss just sitting on my chair at my desk just staring out of the window to the assembly ground. i miss walking at the night times. hostel life is so much fun. and i'm so greatful to have an experience like that. not everyone has the chance, so it's a great thing to talk about when i meet new people. kan.

so i'm meeting up few ex school mates. and dearest ex classmate. i really miss just sitting in class and chit chat. i miss them. so i can't wait to go back to school and re minis everything.

growing up is tough. gradually stepping into the "real life" is a challenge. i just need to be prepared. and i need to expect the unexpected. i must let go of my school/hostel life as it's the past. it just is what it is. this week i realize that i'm growing up. i'm not longer a kid. and this is the real deal. i don't ask money from my parents anymore. i'm hanging out with older people and going back home late. my mom no longer drive me to and from anywhere. i top up with my own money. i wash my own clothes. i cook my own food. this is it man. how do i put this. I AM SCARED

okay thats it. au revoir :)