Sunday, February 28, 2016

My asian third culture kid experience

My Third Culture Kid Experience.

it took me a while adapting to a place im supposed to call "home" . "Home" because it's where I was born. But it's not "home" because it's not a place im comfortable in. and heck Im still adapting to it right now. Despite being here for 10 years already. There are still struggles that I face and still learning to cope. But i'd say I'm a quite normal Malay now because I spent my teenage phase here. so it shaped me to becoming who I am now. but I'll never forget my childhood, that valuble exerience  I'd never change it for anything.

Being an asian TCK, it's hard to commit. until now, Im so used to changing schools, saying goodbye that it's hard for me to remain in close contact with people. I get jealous of people who are still close with their primary school friends and they'd have reminiscents of the time when they were in first grade. and look forward to school reunions. and Im like my elementary school friends are all over the world.

I remember when I was a kid, I would make friends and I would tell myself. Ain, dont get yourself too attach. you know one day you'd have to move again. and it'd be hard to let go. Thus, I am someone who is okay with having transient friendship but has difficulty to remain a friendship

Being an asian TCK, Im not called by my name how it's supposed to be pronounced. come on, can I expect an American be able to pronounce Ain. Aaaain (kat tekak tu). Norain. you think they know that my name has three syllabus? So because im tooo lazy to teach people how to pronounce my name everytime. im okay with No-Rain. coincidently my 3rd grade teacher's name was Ms.Lorraine. it was similar. hahaa. I told my high school friends this, and they end up calling me by that. (mesti orang pelik kalau dorang comment kat FB dorang tulis Norain. cam apehal skema gila tulis nama penuh. but actually they're really saying No-Rain. haha)

Being an asian TCK, my "mother-tongue" is soo poor. and it still is. haha. Im sorry if I have trouble pronouncing certain words, or I misspelled words, or misused words, or get my grammar so wrong. I didnt go to primary school here. so I missed the wholeeeee grammar and vocab part. suddenly when I came back to Malaysia Im supposed to write a 300 words essay? pffffft. hah. speaking of struggles. I remember in form one, i'd get comments from my BM teacher "jangan guna perkataan bahasa inggeris dalam karangan bahasa melayu." welll waddaya expect? you want me to leave a space blank there? (shrugs)  I think Im like the only malay student who literally reads "Tatabahasa" book. like literally read about all those grammar things just to pass the exam. I shocked people by getting an A for BM in pmr and spm . bahaha but is unable to apply the knowledge. lol.

Being an asian TCK, I acquired this "accent". it used to be an American accent, but now after mixing it up with malay language, it doesnt sound so american anymore.. ? (shrugs). i'd get, are you indonesian? are you from UK? noooo, I can not do a British accent. no. epic failure. I'd still have friends who'd mock my accent because of how I pronounce my R's and T's. like Butter. i'd say budderr. not bate(softR). or Uterine as Uderrrine. and paper as payperrr. and soil as soy-yel. But I like my accent. it's like the one and only thing that I still have of US and that reminds me of my childhood.

Being and asian TCK im fine with humblity (is that a word). I have a big family, and my dad was just a PHD student. the whole family had to work for extra money. So im not ashamed that my clothes were from goodwill, and we'd shop for 2nd hand clothes, and my family would be excited looking for garage sales. and we'd collect cans every football season to get extra pocket money. We'd go to foodbanks to get free food. We'd wait for the community to give out free winter clothings. Dont think that we who grew up in the US had a daisy and blossum life there. shopping in branded stores and wear lavashing clothes. nope. So I dont mind if I buy clothes in pasar malam. I dont mind if I buy things from "bundles". I dont mind if my things are old and rugged. as long as I can still use it.

The struggles. nope I wouldnt say it as a struggling. more like "the way of life." You have to work hard to get what you want/need, and you have to adapt to how much you can afford.

2 kerja? my dad did like 3-4 kerja when he was a PHD student to raise his 6 children in the US. ingat senang ke? my dad is a dean and he gets picked up from the airport by a KENARI. and he doesnt mind that XD

We just had a humble life growing up in the US. not like what you see in the TV.  but the experience I gain, I wouldnt change it for anything