Redha dengan TakdirNya

Ada masa aku tertanya,

Kenapa Allah SWT amik nyawa insan yang kita sayang pada umur yang masih muda, dan panjangkan umur insan yang banyak menyusahkan, main dengan najis dia sendiri setiap hari.

Tanya bukan sebab persoalkan takdir Allah, tanya sebab mencari hikmahNya.

Ni lah dalam pemikiran aku setiap pagi sambil mencungkil najis dari celah kuku dia. Sambil tahan bau yang sungguh wangi itu.

Dan aku hanya nampak hikmahNya di akhirat nanti.. 

merintis air mataku, sambil berkata dalam hati, harap malaikat nampak la ni "Aku tengah bersihkan najis dia dengan penuh kesabaran"
Setelah apa yang dia bagi aku hari-hari, aku tetap masak untuk dia, siapkan air untuk dia. "Allah nak bagi banyak pahala bersabar ni" aku pujuk diri..

Aku hanya berfikir, inilah saham akhirat aku nanti.  Amal aku tak sebanyak para sahabat. Dan semoga redhanya aku terhadap takdirNya jadikan redha Allah terhadap diri aku...

Beriman kepada Allah
Beriman kepada malaikat
Beriman kepada Hari Akhirat

3 benda ni. Yang buat aku kuat. Yang buat aku sabar. Yang buat aku teruskan dengan kerja-kerja harian. Aku menangis fikirkan 3 perkara ni. Dan aku bersyukur kepada Allah, Allah hadirkan keyakinan terhadap 3 perkara ni dalam hati aku.

Allah Maha Mengetahui, Allah Maha Melihat, Allah Maha Adil, Allah Maha Penyayang.

Semoga dua insan ni, jadi saksi dan pembela kami sekeluarga di hadapan mahkamah Allah di Hari Akhirat kelak..

Semoga Allah kurniakan kesabaran dan kekuatan kepada kami dalam mengharungi apa jua ujian yang Allah timpakan..

Dan semoga Allah balas dengan ganjaran jannatul firdausi Di akhirat nanti...

Blessings in Hardship. Allah chose you

Blessings in Hardship. Allah chose you

Lately I've been focusing on the trial and tribulations in my life, the unfortunates, the shortcomings. I dwell too much on it untill I forget all the blessings that Allah gave me.

I'm focused on trying to be patient, trying to be content with these trials that sometimes it makes me more fragile. More broken. I count the shortcomings. And I sigh.

I know we are suppose to put hope in Allah, but I am at the point where I feel like I'm deserving of something good, I'm waiting and hoping when will Allah give in return to me. Where is Allah when I need Him? It's like I loss the ikhlas..

Without the ikhlas, really, I am unable to be content with myself. Content with what Allah has given me. It's wrong. My thinking is all wrong. How will Allah be redha with me. If it seems like I didn't have redha in Him?

But. There's a point of view I didn't look at.

I joined this one event of famous malaysian influencers giving sharing about their experiences.

"Be grateful. Allah picked you" she said.

I've been hearing this "Allah picked you" a lot .
And pondering on it. What does it mean. To me?

Allah picked me to be faithful to Him. Allah picked me to worship Him. Allah picked me to receive these tests so I would always remember Him.

Ain, is this not what you prayed for? Every day you make du'a
"Ya Allah, make me of those people that always remember You."

"It's a blessing, a Rahmah, to always remember Allah. Allah chose you to have it." She said

I cried. Because I sighed. When all that Allah intended was only good things for me. He granted my du'a but I still questioned Him?

And at that moment I felt like a huge burden just lifted off my shoulders. I said to myself
"La Tahzan. Innallaha ma'ana"
Don't be sad Ain. Allah is with you.
Allah was with me the whole time. Through the tribulations I faced, I talked to Allah to give me strength. Through the trials, I asked Allah to increase my patience. Through the hardships, I asked Allah to grant me something better in the Hereafter. 

All I saw was hardship hardship and hardship. But I didn't see the blessings. The blessings of remembering Allah, the blessings of being patient, the blessings of believing in the Hereafter. The blessings of believing in His rewards. The blessings of making Allah, the One you depend on, The Only One to whom you surrender.

And aren't that all blessings Allah have given you?

"Indeed, through hardship there is ease."
(94:5)

You know this ayat. But it takes real faith to truly believe it. "Ease" can mean so many things. An obedient servant would see that "ease" can come in so many ways.
The blessings to be kusyu' in solat, to making a lot du'as, ease you in reading the Qur'an more. Just so many ways that "ease" can come.
SubhanAllah.

If only we open our eyes to see it.

Your answer to where is Allah when you need Him? 

"And when My servants ask you concerning Me, the. Surely I am very near; I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he calls on Me, so they should answer My call and believe in Me that they may walk in the right way." (2:186)

If only we open our eyes to see it.

Ramadhan Goal Experience

Ahlan Was Sahlan Ramadhan

Besides New year's resolution I have done Ramadhan goals before . I too believe in the magic of resolutions! Because it has worked for me many times

People can say, "pfftt masa bulan puasa baru nak jadi baik." "Bulan puasa je pakai tudung, baik tak payah "Masa bulan puasa je pegi masjid."

That's what's special with Ramadhan. It's a Month of barakah 🌼

People start leaving their sins. People start finding Allah and worship Allah. It means that they do believe in Allah 🌹

I remembered one Ramadhan.
I pledged a goal. I wanna pray 5 times a day throughout the whole Ramadhan! At the time I was still jahil but deep down in my heart I wanted to love Allah. So, baby steps. Put an intention to do what's right.

My friends laughed at me when I told them.

They said what I wrote up there. 

"solat tu bukan dalam bulan Ramadhan je Ain."
"You don't just pray during Ramadhan,Ain"
"Memang patut solat hari-hari pun."
"Usually people already have to pray everyday"
Sarcastic.

Yeah. There are gonna be people , those even close to you, that don't understand you, don't support you. Because it's odd to them. like "buang tabiat apa kau ni"

But if your intention is pure for Allah sake, you have to hold firm to what you believe in. Allah will help you. Allah is there for you. Allah will ease you. Regardless of what people around you are saying about you. Because your aim your goal is for The One an Only, Allah.

If you need Ramadhan to give you that push, then do so! If you need Ramadhan to start a new deed, then do so. Make a resolution. Make a pledge. Stick to it for 30 days. Ask Allah for strength. Pray to Allah to help you through.

InsyaAllah. It's better than not even starting, right? You have to start somewhere.

May Allah give us the strength to istiqamah afterwards..May Allah make us people that are always increasing and perfecting our deeds. May Allah accept our good deeds. Ameenn..

So here's mine for Ramadhan 2019 

Actually I've been starting this since I came back from umrah. But just haven't been too consistent. 

1. Hafal Juzuk 30

 (I have 4 surahs more to go. I aim to finish it in Ramadhan. I have instill the intention of memorising the Qur'an. So started with Juzuk 30, and will go on from there. InsyaAllah. May Allah ease. Though, I'm just an average Muslim, didn't learn Islamic studies or anything. But as a Muslim, I believe that the Qur'an will be my witness in the day of judgement . It's the words directly from Allah, I feel like it's such a loss if you don't take the time to try to memorize it, because it's so accessible everywhere anywhere)

2. Solat Sunat ; make it a routine, don't miss it!

-Rawatib

-Solat Sunat Dhuha 

-Solat Sunat Awabin 

3. Night Prayers

Which is probably easy since we'd go for tarawih every day followed by Witr

4. Qiyamullail 

I'd wanna say everyday but I don't think I'd be commited. So let's say at least 3 times a week? And everyday on the last 10 days of Ramadhan

5. Quran recitation 

I know it's good to khatam the Qur'an once in Ramadhan, but let's just say it isn't my biggest goal just yet. I've tried and tried before but failed. Closest I got was having 2-3 Juzuk to go. So this year I will try again! 

6. Readings 

I purposely purchased a book just for Ramadhan. (But I did read some pages already). It's Tafsir of Juzu' Amma by HAMKA. Because insyaAllah will finish hafal all surahs in Juzu' Amma, so I wanna dig deep into the tafseer as well! 

So basically I've started all this already since I came back from umrah. But I noticed the spirit and excitement is starting to fade off, day by day, getting lazier. So I pray that Allah will give the booster again for Ramadhan. Can't wait for the Holy Month. Full of Barakah.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️